Talking Sex

Recently I was asked how I became interested in becoming a sex therapist.  I had no short answer and instead went on with geeky enthusiasm until my listener’s eyes glazed over!  Most of my life I’ve been interested in what happens in particular moments when people come together.  When one person’s history, needs and perceptions joins (or collides) with the history, needs and perceptions of another.  So much more goes on than meets the eye when people have sex!  Sex therapy is about misconceptions, anatomy, arousal and fantasy.  It is also about grief, vulnerability, attachment, medication, the brain.  Did I mention safety, health choices, obstacles, orientation, gender, identity, being categorized, as well as the refusal to be categorized.  It’s about love, like, lust, trust, pain, frustration and fear.

Taking all of the above into consideration, it is astounding that we think we don’t have to talk about it to make it work!

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One response to “Talking Sex

  1. The problem for me is not so much failing to talk about sex, but my inability to talk about the sexual fantasies I have. They are all relatively extreme or perhaps odd, and this I am, frankly ashamed to talk about them. I’ve always hesitated to go to a sex therapist since such professionals tend to focus on relationships… and, though my fantasies have certainly influenced these, I do not have problems in this area, at least not such that they concern me.

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