Although I see clients for a variety of different reasons, I find the subject of relationships runs like a thread through the narratives of people’s stories. Whether it’s a couple wanting to make their relationship better, or an individual coping with depression and anxiety, the concern about finding someone to love, being able to live happily in a loving relationship, or the fear of not being loved is with us in therapy sessions.
What are some of the issues causing problems in relationships?
- Differing expectations (due to family, culture, class or gender differences)
- People having emotional needs they are expecting their partner to meet
- Wanting their partner to relate the same way (communicate in the same way, show love in the same way)
- Having one’s own issues with depression or anxiety that prevent intimacy
- Fear of intimacy
- Inability to communicate in a way that encourages stronger connection
- Unrealistic expectations of relationships
Whether someone is in a relationship now, or desperately seeking one, people often define their lives by what’s happening now, and what they’re feeling now, and forget that “now” is but a brief time in the course of their lives. What’s important in the “now” is to work on being the best and most loving person you can be. This is what you can give a relationship that is lacking in love. This is what you can do for yourself to be sure you’re ready when love comes along.